In our world there are lots of everyday situations, feelings and experiences that we all recognise but there are no words to describe them. On the other hand there are many words hanging around on street signs doing nothing. So, below we`ve listed these words to describe everyday situations in the office.
CURZON: The ring of hardened Tippex around the top of the bottle that prevents you getting the brush in or out.
DEREHAM: The strip of shirt showing between the bottom of the jumper and the top of the trousers. Usually seen on middle management
DIGBY: The kind of swagger that men do when they see the new girl from the typing pool walking toward them down the corridor. Similar to the John Wayne walk seen in his cowboy films.
FRIMLEY: The stain on the office carpet that nobody knows what it is or how it got there.
GURNAGE: The expression on one`s face after being told there`s no Saturday overtime.
HEDGEMAN:Standing in the loo between the MD and your boss and finding that you can`t go.
IBSCOTT: The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a chair that is still warm from someone else`s bottom.
LANGHORNE: The piece of chewing gum that somone has stuck under your desk whilst you`ve been on holiday.
MOSBACH: Grabbing a pen off someone`s desk whilst in a hurry to write down an important message and discovering that it`s run out of ink. Thus ensuring that you forget the message whilst looking for another one.
PLUMPTON: The name given to an egg roll from the canteen that squirts the yoke out when you bite into it. Normally over your keyboard.
STERRY: The period of time from when a phone starts ringing `till it is answered. Usually occurs when discussing last night`s telly or what the boyfriend did/didn`t do.
SURRIDGE: The loose knot of a man`s tie that allows the top button of his shirt to be left undone. Usually in the belief that management will notice how busy he`s been.
TOMLYNS: The kind of feeling one gets when on a disciplinary. Hence the saying "I`ve got Tomlyns in my stomach"
WILMINGTON: The time spent looking for the only pin in a pot of paperclips.
WINGLETYE: The coiled wire on a telephone handset that mysteriously gets tangled for no apparent reason..
All words are from street names in towns in south Essex.
(c) 2000